The creativity roller coaster will put any writer to the test. Like anything that matters, it comes with its high highs and its low lows–because, ultimately, it’s an adventure. It’s a quest for understanding. Understanding the unknowns. Understanding self.
No one said writing or creativity would be easy. I think anyone who creates on a regular, and aware, basis tends to forget this, because the highs are so imbued with a sense of purpose and realism (“this right here is what it’s all about!”) that the lows come as a walloping surprise (“I had no idea I can create crap so bad!”). Creativity is a double-edged sword it seems. You make the good, the bad and woefully ugly.
Uninvited guests, such as my inner critic and other gremlins, will pop up at the most inopportune times–like when I am about to round another corner on my edits, have a telephone interview or click the “publish” button on my blog. They are the same villain wearing different hats, whose mission it is to obscure the one constant in this Universe: Love.
“I need to love myself through this.”
While it doesn’t pull me down into the depths of the murky unknown, self-doubt is the gremlin that keeps me there, clouds my vision, questions my courage and strongholds my stamina. It weighs down any sense of determination to put one foot in front of the other in my pilgrimage to unknown experiences, unknown heights, unknown worlds.
The only way I can bring myself to move forward is by recognizing the light within, celebrating the love that is (even a small celebration, like admiring in the mirror the light sparkling off a barrette you put in your hair that morning), and just plain doing something doable.
Maybe it’s talking to a friend. “I need to love myself through this,” I said to a friend on a Skype call, a few days ago. I said the words, but I wasn’t really sure how that was going to play itself out–after all, I had only, just seconds before uttering the words, conjured the plan. That was probably the light within talking.
Embrace the creativity roller coaster.
On Facebook the other day, I mentioned that the whole thing is very much like a roller coaster ride. One of my friends wrote back and suggested I figure out how to enjoy this roller coaster ride, replete with surges, swoops and loop-de-loops. This angel continued to note that she has sticky notes around her house reminding her that she “signed up for adventure”.
And that’s when it hit me. I really did sign up for adventure. I can remember how my mother could barely keep me contained in the house on the weekends or over the summer. There was a world to see–and I was on a mission to live in it! In my life, I have learned languages and traveled, quit jobs and started up businesses, loved, eloped and moved across borders. All to live a life of experiences and adventures!
Love was there every step of the way–a shining light no matter how dark how murky, how impossible the moment seems–there was always a glimmer of love.
So this is that moment. The moment where I have to use my own writing, my own craft, my own words to tough-love my way through this!
You made your roller coaster–now, ride it like it wants to be ridden! Take your hands off the bar in front of you, throw them up in the air and scream your lungs out until there’s no scream left and only laughter.
Adventure is what I signed up for.
In fact, every day I wake up, I rejoice to see the light of day, and I thrill at the excitements in store for me. Now it’s time to get it on paper. But first, let me get my hands on some sticky notes!